Faded Away

September Sixteenth Two Thousand Twelve

I noticed today that the word "Love" had finally been completely washed off both of my wrists. The only thing left is my stamp from a marching band competition on my right wrist. Even though the word "Love" has faded away, my love for those who are suicidal or committed suicide is still there. It is like those who cuts. The wounds may have gone away, but the scars are still there.

Anyway, my own suicide voices were talking to me this week. Instead of going away, they turned into nervousness as I preformed at my first marching band competition. I let those nerves get the best of me, and I had a bad performance.  After performing, the voices came back, the tears were about to stream, and you could tell the weakness in my voice. I pulled myself together for the rest of night and shoved it away till now. Now, the voices are back. Maybe now, I could give up. But God has decided today is not my day. I am still needed here. God decided to let me go to school tomorrow and stay strong for all of my silent followers. Maybe tomorrow, the voices will shut up because I want to live till Saturday to get my much needed adrenaline rush from performing my best show because it did not happen this weekend. For now, just remember, the people who want you alive and why they need you in their life. Do not choose today to die. You will make it through this. But if your voices are overpowering call 911 before you attempt anything. Because I want you to live.